I have a friend who is famous for her catch phrases. In the short time I’ve known her she’s become an old friend, her phrases now almost vital in my every day speech. Some of them are just funny, but most of them point me to Jesus. This is why I love her.
The Sara-phrase that has been my anchor of late is “look up”. Maybe it’s not originally hers, but she’s been the one to model it for me best. In the good and the bad, in the doubts and the triumphs of these past few days, weeks, and months, my challenge has been to look up. With my griefs and my joys…to look up.
Today I’m linking up with Sara’s Adoration Monday and I invite you to do the same.
Today I come to praise the detail-God. The God who I thought was too big for the small.
And then I saw you here. Africa is big, but you are bigger.
In Africa, I feel small, but you crept into my small.
In every moment, every sigh, every longing, every smile, every treat, every drop of rain and ray of sunlight.
I thought you brought me here to do something big.
You brought me here to be small while you did something big.
You brought me here to show me how big the need is in these smallest of small.
And I felt overwhelmed. I saw the number. 147 or 163 million. God there are so many.
I’m too small. What can we do about this?
I’m silly, Lord. You are way too big to not be small. You see each face, you know each story.
And you said. FIVE.
That’s my big number for you, small girl.
I’m a big God, but I care for the small. We’re here for FIVE.
And one by one they trickled in. One, two, three, four, five.
And you were big enough for us. You did more than we could ask or imagine.
You used our weakness to show yourself strong. You did what you promised.
You are extravagantly generous.
You hear my prayer for there to be power at the end of a long day. It’s not too small.
You hear me cry when I get into bed and ask for someone to share part of my burden tomorrow. It’s not too small.
You know my smallest and silliest desires and you choose to surprise me every day. I’m not too small.
You heard my prayer for justice for those five. They’re not too small.
Their hearts and mine – equally precious to you. No one too small.
You’ve been hearing this little girl’s voice for years. You listen to my worries. You hear me question your plan over and over again.
And yet you give and you bless and you surprise in the most intimate of ways.
Words are not enough to describe your goodness.
This little girl is still shaking from the hard of this past year…and still wide-mouthed at the mercy you’ve shown.
This has been the year of the small. It hasn’t been a safe year. It’s been a year in which I’ve watched you be bigger than I thought you could be, while I cowered in a corner and feared what might happen if you weren’t big enough.
God, give me another year like this one. I want to watch you grow bigger.